The Wright Stuff on channel 5 this morning were discussing Fathers who lose touch with their children. Of course, there could be many reasons, one of which was the massive depression that can set in when you can’t see your children as much as when you lived in the family home. The pain becomes so great that it is easy (in the short term may be) to stay away, especially if the mother is hostile. Then there is the divorce resentment, you left me and I will pay you back by not allowing you to see the children or by making it as difficult as they possibly can to see/maintain a relationship with your children.
Stories of fathers spending thousands of pounds on court action in order to try and maintain contact are common. The court process, it seems to me, is so divorced from the reality of the situation and it simply cannot respond quickly enough to the immediate needs of the parents and children, it can take weeks to get contact issues into courts and by then the damage can start. Parents that cannot put their feelings aside need support to heal from the damage of a broken relationship, where is the help ? In our society today, religion is on the out, media tells us we can have it all and no one wants to go to deep for the same reason as the court/lawyers don’t touch it, emotions drive us in the heartbreaking situations, GP’s are stretched, counselling is expensive and there are few places to share how it feels to leave your home and your children.
If you feel there is nowhere to go, no one understands how difficult it is to maintain contact or you are coming up against a difficult ex, please get in touch. I cannot promise to fix the problem but I have two ears and some experience. Don’t give up on your children or as importantly, don’t give up on yourself, you deserve to heal whatever happens after you left.